A small reflection...

I've always liked the idea of "training," it's never much mattered exactly what I was training for. I've never trained for a marathon or that sort of thing, but I have trained myself to do a lot of seemingly random, and genrally unimportant things. To me the challenge is in changing patterns, lifestyles, automatic responses, etc. I am a creature of habit and routine, I find comfort in the familiar - yet at the same time enjoy breaking patterns.

In 2011, I lost a few items that were important to me; what I realized losing my keys a few days before the close of the year was that it didn't matter. I needed to just let it go. I was sad, because the keys included a key ring that my sister got me when I graduated high school, it was engraved with one of my favorite quotes, a Grateful Dead lyric; "she can wade in a drop of dew." To me, that quote always meant that "she" was magnificent, that "she" could do anything, that there was no challenge too great. Sometimes it's really nice to have these sentimental trickets and things all around, but what I realized is in losing them, I focused a little too much on the "thing" and not enough on the "meaning" - it doesn't matter that I don't have that silly key ring, I still believe those words, I've still got my great sister, who when I told I'd lost the key ring, was super sweet, said some good words that nearly made me cry and that is what is important.

That maroon beanie that came on more adventures than I can name, that carried all that energy with it, well losing the hat can't take all that energy; I carry it. I don't have many "things" but the things I do have generally have a lot of meaning and sentimental value to me, 2012 is all about the value and the feeling, not the thing...


‎"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose."―Yoda