"I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people who are convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference after another." ~ Ellen Goodman

"In a moment the ashes are made, but the forest is a long time growing" ~Seneca

i've been sleeping diagonally in my bed for weeks now, next to me a book, pen and paper, my computer. i count sheep until i move on to other things, the last voicemail, email, text; the last invitation, sleepover, compliment; the streets that take me from here to there and back; the paints i need to buy; all the things beyond my control and ways to say good-bye.

this timing being off is standard practice: the flower that blooms to soon only to succumb to the late winter frost, there are those premature things that with love and care flourish, but i'm yet to see that in this life.

my inhales gets caught in my chest before exhale, squashed beneath the seeming weight of pallets resting on my chest. this weight is getting old, but it hangs around like stale cigarette air seeping into fabrics.

and i've read this poetry before.

"you can't change the wind; you can, however, adjust your sails" ~unknown (but wise wise person)

in times of sunshine and quiet I think

there are certain truths we come to learn

there are hammers and gears and plenty of unspoken reality

a cadence down a windowpane

it's no secret that there's too much right now and little of it good.

you have no room for sadness and mine is figuring out how not to call

i've been stockpiling letters and words.

and song lyrics scream, "you give me miles and miles of mountains and
i asked for the sea"

opportunity

it is funny sometimes how songs shift...

"Don't be scared of what you cannot see
Your only fear is possibility
Never wonder what the hell went wrong
Your second chance may never come along"

to make smiles

also, my love bright eyes sings a lovely version...go figure.