Thursday, May 6, 2010

it seems that neither slow and steady nor jumping off bridges seems to
work. i had careful and clear articulated needs and i earnestly rolled
up my sleeves and started to build. no, not walls but a way forward, i
thought that i was preparing for something and working through the
bumps and bruises. it wasn't fast enough and now i've got plans and
words to pack up.

i'm sick of chemicals. i'm sick of fogs
and muted. i sucumb to weakness and sought strength outside myself,
when i know full well i don't need it. i recover my strength, wanting
to share and i turn to nothing.

i let go of so many fears, losened grips on all i was afraid of. i
leapt, everyday, towards something, but it went without notice. it was
not enough.

just when i started to feel whole again, to fill pages and canvass and
create and grow and to experience opportunity, I know where I will go.


womanimal said...

this is gorgeously inspiring and heartbreaking. keep filling...

Suzanne said...

yeah - this is quite honest and thorough.... well done