as i lay here, attempting sleep i am next to a white envelope contents: a twenty;
         close by the contents of my pockets -
         an empty bottle of bourbon,
         another twenty,
         a twenty minus the blue moon and new company. 
         keys and a lighter.
books surround my sleep, words that were meant to inspire thoughts, something worth saying.
instead i'm sleepless -
                   the ideas around changes are caught in the corners of grey matter.
is she still drinking?
                   will i know when she stops.
i walked home tonight and told myself not to look up as i passed - 
          im not that strong.
                   i looked up to a dark window.
headed to the park - 
          a stint on the swings - 
                   only wishing to fly, higher.
i passed a bride - 
          a saturday night well spent.
the universe is a complicated thing, that is what they say.
an exploratory committee.
                   thoughts that may pass.
sleep that doesn't come, when body is exhausted but mind streams on.