Its about a house settling...

There's something about hearing crickets went you attempt sleep.
There's something about truth that you're not able to speak.
There's something about silence that you will search for till you're tired...
There's something about quiet.

I wanted a dog my whole life...10 years ago this is the dog my parents got when I was 18, I named her oakley - after Annie Oakley...

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Will you swing with me

After a train and ferry ride, this is what greeted me on Fire Island. Who could ask for anything more? The getaway to the island was much needed following a brunch in which I learned some news that was, to say the least, hard to swallow. I left brunch, and headed to the liquor store for some bourbon. My plan was to retreat to my roof and think...this plan was interupted by a text telling me to get my ass on a boat, how could I resist...so I packed a towel, a swimsuit, a change of clothes, the bourbon and headed to the train. No looking back.

Following the welcoming view, I was greeted by friends...we took a quick tour of Cherry Grove and then headed to the deck for bloody marias. Dinner at Cherry's, then back to the roof. After more drinking and relaxation, it was time for a nap before the evening's Halloween Party. Halloween drinking and dancing and partying at the coustume party, without, yup you guessed it, costumes. Party was followed by taking a long walk back to the house, my need of being close to the water...sleep.

Good Morning! Sunday morning: bloody marys, extra olives, please. A breakfast sandwich on the beach; preparing to swim, and being reminded who is in control - mother nature. Hard breaking waves, inconsistent rhythms, rip currents. As the day went on, the skies cleared, and more and more people came out of hiding and made their way down to the water.


Working with nature, studying her ebb and flow, stopping to feel. Working in tandem with her power, tapping into a cajoling power to find the partnership to dive through waves and enter the chaotic force. Worked up quite an appetite - pizza and beer on the beach - a perfect solution. Decision made to stay another night and have the best commute to work in ages...





The journey begins back to the chaos of NYC, a government bailout in Washington, and more than enough work to keep me in the office after we close at 2.







Good-bye to an amzing weekend. And much needed getaway. Hello to an amzing commute to work. (I'm saving for a boat - not exactly new news)

saturday...post brunch bloody marys

"tumble out of bed, and i stumble to the kitchen. pour myself a cup of ambition, and yawn and stretch and try to come to life. jump in the shower, and the blood starts pumpin, out on the streets the traffic starts jumpin with folks like me on the job from 9 - 5. workin 9 - 5, what a way to make a livin, barely gettin by, its all takin and no givin, they just use your mind and never give you no credit. its enough to make you crazy if you let it." dolly p.

am i really going to say fuck it and go to fire island or will i stay in brooklyn and get shit done. decision making post brunch is not a good idea. had brunch with big j - total craziness. i miss her. jadirus the virus. she told me she always looked up to me. wow.

"When I was eight I was sure I was growing nerves, like steel in my palms. Make a map of what you see, direct pain effectively, I was eight I was sure I was growing pains, like lead in my feet." tegan & sara

a weekend well spent

the best place to go to get away - the most permanent place in my life. it's one of my favorite times of the year to be there; the air is crisp, the water slowly preparing for the winter, the leaves begin to blush with the beauty of fall. on a clear night you can see the stars, and reach out as though you could grab them. sweatshirts. beanies. campfires. laughing till it hurts. i'm glad i was able to get away this weekend, to regroup and to come back to nyc ready for the next 47 days. bring it.

a little place reserved for...

I spent a mere 5 years of my life in Pittsburgh, but the fondness that I have for the city would make one think I spent a lifetime there. While in Pittsburgh I completed my undergraduate degree at Duquesne University. My major was Sociology with a concentration in Social and Political Policy, most people who know me aren't at all surprised by this. Truth be told - I transfered to Duquesne for their Athletic Training program. After finishing up my undergrad and not having any real idea with what I wanted to do I decided to enroll in Duquesne's graduate program. I completed what is called a Masters Certificate in Conflict Resolution and Peace Studies before deciding that I needed a little more practical application in my studies, so after finishing the certificate I "dropped out".

I spent the next year working as a Theraputic Support Staff for a social service agency, Community Alternatives. And one of my favorite jobs, working as a Starbuck's Shift Manager/Barista. (Look for future posts on these two job experiences...)

I lived on Mt. Washington for awhile, on Lelia Street. (I lived on the second floor of the red brick building - it came complete with a front and back porch. The front porch was great for hangin out because you were so high up not many people thought to look up. And in true Pittsburgh form we had a recliner out there, so it was perfect for reading and just plain ol' relaxing. The back porch was great becasue it was surrounded by tree branches, so one naturally felt as though you were in a tree house - at least that is what I pretended. And I also did some time up in Allentown, living on Knox Ave. (if you look at the street view on the map, my house was the white one with the green and white awnings over the windows). I miss my backyard in both of these spaces.

People have often asked if I'd move back to Pittsburgh and while I consider it, it seems so far from a reality. There are plenty of times I miss Pittsburgh more than I thought possible...times when I am riding my bike home from work or walking aimlessly through Brooklyn. Sometimes it forces me to swallow the lump in my throat and keep on keepin on. I often think about what it is that I love so much about the city...is it the water, never too far from a feeling of cleansing; was it the character of the City of Steel: dirty, gritty, grey, cold, a preception of struggle for its continued breath, the hills, the greenery, the well defined neighborhoods? Was it the connections I forged there, the people, my friends, the strangers?

People often ask me where I am from, I never answer the question - there is no answer. Here's a break down: Born = Warrington England followed by a move to Eich Germany, a shift to the states where I spent a brief couple of months in upstate NY, followed by a move to Howell, NJ (I was there from age 4.5 until the summer before 6th grade), then it was down to Northern VA (6th grade through high school), 1 year of college in VA and then a transfer to Pittsburgh...5 years in the 'burgh followed by a year of transition in North Jersey and then a move to big NYC, I've been here for 3 years. People tell me that since my formative years were spent in VA that should be my answer, however I feel as close to "from Virgina" as I do saying I'm from Japan. Don't get me wrong, I have fond memories of VA but I'm not from there. I will continue to answer the question with a sly, "I ain't got roots."